The Concept of true Love - TV-Talk with Alain de Botton | Sternstunde Philosophie | SRF Kultur

  • Am Vor 2 years

    SRF KulturSRF Kultur

    Sich verlieben geht ganz einfach. Die Liebe durch den Alltag retten, ist schon schwieriger. Der Starphilosoph Alain de Botton erklärt im Gespräch mit Barbara Bleisch, warum alte Liebe nicht unbedingt rosten muss und weshalb die Philosophie ein gutes Rostschutzmittel ist.

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    Zwar bekommen sich nicht immer die Richtigen, und zuweilen braucht es mehrere Anläufe. Aber früher oder später landen die meisten in der «Zweierkiste». Doch was, wenn die sprichwörtlichen Schmetterlinge im Bauch davonfliegen und der nüchterne Alltag einzieht? Was, wenn Kinder und Karriere an den Nerven zehren und die Liebe auf der Strecke bleibt?

    Darüber, wie es mit der Liebe weitergeht, wenn die erste Verliebtheit vorbei ist, wissen die Menschen erstaunlich wenig, sagt der Bestsellerautor Alain de Botton. Kein Wunder: Grimms Märchen und Hollywoods Traumfabrik beenden ihre Liebesgeschichten immer dann, wenn sich die Liebenden gefunden haben. Doch wie retten Dornröschen, Aschenputtel sowie Harry und Sally ihre Liebe über die Zeit?

    Alain de Botton hat über diese Frage einen philosophischen Roman geschrieben - und kommt zu überraschenden Schlüssen: Partner sollten einander nicht annehmen, wie sie sind; Monogamie ist eine Tragödie, aber man kann mit ihr leben; wenn Paare streiten, sind sie selten wütend, sondern bedürftig.

    Barbara Bleisch begibt sich mit Alain de Botton in die philosophische Paartherapie.

    Literatur:
    👉 Alain de Botton: «Der Lauf der Liebe». Fischer 2016

    Deutsche Version:
    👉 www.srf.ch/sendungen/sternstu...

    Sternstunde Philosophie vom 12.02.2017
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    Die «Sternstunde Philosophie» pflegt den vertieften und kritischen Ideenaustausch und geht den brennenden Fragen unserer Zeit auf den Grund.

    Die «Sternstunde Philosophie» schlägt den grossen Bogen von der gesellschaftspolitischen Aktualität zu den Grundfragen der Philosophie: Wer ist wofür verantwortlich, worin besteht die menschliche Freiheit, was bestimmt unseren Lebenssinn? Zu Gast sind Persönlichkeiten aus Wissenschaft, Kultur, Politik und Wirtschaft - Stimmen, die zum Denken anregen und unser Zeitgeschehen reflektieren und einordnen.

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Profi_GMan Workaround
Profi_GMan Workaround

ALG crosstalk in action 😁

Vor 2 Tage
R L
R L

De Botton's arguments on what love is are totally delusional. Love is not logical. It can be, but it is not always. Also ""love is not an admiration for the perfect. love is a sympathy for many things which are less than perfect. so, when you say you love something, you love something that's a bit broken. that's real love." is absolute codswallop. We don't love people or things because they are a bit broken, because everyone and nearly everything is a bit broken except Mother Nature. And nobody thinks that love is an admiration for the perfect, that is just an assumption of De Botton's. He assumes an awful lot and so many are taken in by him and take his words as the gospel. Learn to think for yourself people. This guy is massively over rated. He just makes assumptions and then argues against them and any fool can do that.

Vor 4 Tage
Serendipitous Susan
Serendipitous Susan

Romantic love is like chocolate? I can get behind that.

Vor 6 Tage
celine m
celine m

It is a great interview. I owe Mr de Botton a lot in understanding myself and life; and learn to become a better person. He is a great philosopher and educator! Thanks a million!

Vor 7 Tage
Omar Shashaa
Omar Shashaa

To love is to accept all of their perfect imperfections.

Vor 17 Tage
Liz Goldstein
Liz Goldstein

Toller Beitrag.

Vor 18 Tage
Dan-Andrei Vasilescu
Dan-Andrei Vasilescu

Great dialogue🙏, thank you!

Vor 20 Tage
Jens Heiken
Jens Heiken

Er spricht so gut englisch, dass ich keine Untertitel benötige

Vor 21 Tag
Bünyamin Kasap
Bünyamin Kasap

interesting to watch them not switching to each other's languages even by mistake.

Vor 24 Tage
aishah ghanie
aishah ghanie

Hi..I like your video. Really I appreciate this insight out about to understand the truth about love.

Vor 26 Tage
HilAri0us
HilAri0us

It always irritates me she isn't speaking English but I think that actually is some amazing translator working for the guests (mind the speaker in his ear). Yes the conversation probably has a script but I think the reason to leave it to native languages is to allow for the nuances of emotion we couldn't express in a second language. All the guests in this show are always so interesting.

Vor Monat
kawafahra
kawafahra

His first introduction sentences, everything until about 2:30, is something that if you really understand it, can help you immensely.

Vor Monat
Heinz Schmidt
Heinz Schmidt

Wer bei Menschen Orientierung sucht, die in der Welt als weise gelten, ist wie ein Tourist, der einen anderen Touristen, der sich auch nicht auskennt, nach dem Weg fragt. Jesus sagte über die klugen Leute seiner Zeit: „Das sind blinde Führer. Und wenn ein Blinder einen Blinden führt, dann fallen beide in eine Grube“ (Mat. 15:14). Es stimmt: Die Weisheit dieser Welt ist Dummheit bei Gott.

Vor Monat
Elena Ardelean
Elena Ardelean

Amazing ..logical teaching

Vor Monat
Ocax
Ocax

I like this man, he is sincere enough and very good at explaining complicated things. I like philosophers. I wish I had a chance to have a conversation with him.

Vor Monat
Cécile Superfree
Cécile Superfree

Sie versteht seine „hässliches Baby“ Aussage nicht ganz 😃

Vor Monat
Katrin
Katrin

his voice sounds like the narrator from school of life

Vor Monat
Fabio Mendiola
Fabio Mendiola

He is the narrator.

Vor Monat
Over the Sky
Over the Sky

The best.

Vor Monat
candyshaped
candyshaped

danke für diesen beitrag. es war sehr schön alain mal richtig erklären zu sehen.

Vor Monat
Kodesuper
Kodesuper

This is quality content

Vor Monat
Carforina
Carforina

Wow, he is such a brilliant mind. And I'm blown away by the fact that I have come to some of his conclusions about our mind and soul by myself lately but I was not thinking of love for one second

Vor Monat
Alexandra Eduardovna
Alexandra Eduardovna

Great !!! Absolutely valuable information!! Danke dafür 💛

Vor Monat
Kofi Ababio
Kofi Ababio

There is no love worth the name unless you have a proper culture with solid interrelationships between the 3 generations - and the spiritual - not the religious - world.

Vor Monat
Kofi Ababio
Kofi Ababio

Looks like she loves him🤗

Vor Monat
cano3d
cano3d

Amazing interview, thank you!

Vor Monat
Xandyr
Xandyr

"how would you like to suffer" conversation was great, that's it. Neither one or another option evades suffering, but one choice of lifestyle has less tolerable forms of it

Vor Monat
scitevias
scitevias

ja die wahre Liebe... Selbst die Mutterliebe ist wesentlich hormonbedingt. Wahre Liebe muss etwas anderes sein. Es gilt: Die Liebe zu einem Menschen, die nicht eine Folge der Liebe zu Gott ist, die ist für'n Arsch.

Vor Monat
Truth Over Facts
Truth Over Facts

Imo, true love is rooted in death. Would you kill for the other person? Would the other person kill for you? If that question has not been presented to your relationship, you are most likely living a lie, and are coping.

Vor Monat
Chris Grezinger
Chris Grezinger

Ich wusste vor der dritten Minute, dass er auch nicht weiß, wovon er redet. Dass weiß nur, dem ES passiert ist. Einmal in deinem Leben. Wenn du Glück hast. Ich sollte wirklich mein Buch veröffentlichen, damit jeder weiss, wie er mit Klarheit erkennt, dass er seinen fehlenden Part getroffen hat. Das tragische daran ist - danach ist dir weniger nie mehr genug ...

Vor 2 Monate
#441
#441

This was so important, I feel like I should watch it twice.

Vor 2 Monate
Svilena Ninetta
Svilena Ninetta

"Love is a sympathy for many things which are less then perfect ."

Vor 2 Monate
Nate91
Nate91

6 years into a relationship and I couldn't give a fuck what glasses I drink from, nor would I bother having an argument over something that trivial. Am I above this problem or is it still yet to come in the relationship?!

Vor 2 Monate
Eylül Dilan Aslan
Eylül Dilan Aslan

I am just so happy to live in the same era with Alain de Botton.

Vor 2 Monate
Renato B
Renato B

I think it´s silly that the presenter speaks German, even if it is a German speaking television channel. Just speak English and the channel would get credits.

Vor 2 Monate
Andrea Lucia CASTRO ALARCON
Andrea Lucia CASTRO ALARCON

Magnificient interview.

Vor 2 Monate
auda superfrau
auda superfrau

"The only people we can ever think of as perfect are people we don't know."

Vor 2 Monate
MegaMayday16
MegaMayday16

Blessed that I understand German and English

Vor 2 Monate
Piccadelly
Piccadelly

The interview, German - English is wonderful, and with Alain and Barbara what could be nicer

Vor 2 Monate
00 Pisani
00 Pisani

Nothing is as hard as learning the 🎻violin 😃...even tolerating my persistently grumpy husband

Vor 2 Monate
Mudit Jain
Mudit Jain

In love, we see ourselves in the other, a sort of mirror reflecting our own thoughts and feelings. So in a way, we are communicating to ourselves through another

Vor 2 Monate
Mudit Jain
Mudit Jain

In love, u live totally in the present and forget yourself

Vor 2 Monate
Mudit Jain
Mudit Jain

We see our qualities and thoughts in the other, so we can relate to ourselves as if our thoughts are mirrored

Vor 2 Monate
🌼Paulina Pi🌸
🌼Paulina Pi🌸

I know ADB is famous, and he has good insights on many things ( such as imperfection etc.) but regarding some topics annoying to me is the that even if he doesn’t think he knows everything- people still take it as an objective truth, where it is only a subjective opinion/ experience- ADB experience.

Vor 2 Monate
Violet Evergarden
Violet Evergarden

I feel like this man knows nothing about love. Maybe he has never known love. And he makes a virtue out of it.

Vor 2 Monate
Metal wizard
Metal wizard

YEAAA THANKS

Vor 3 Monate
Christian Spanfellner
Christian Spanfellner

Many good points, BUT: love is in fact not a classroom, and a teacher-student mindset applied to one's love life is rife with blatantly obvious pitfalls. Your partner is not your parent. - Also, why would choosing glasses, furniture, or whatever together be as big a challenge as climbing a mountain unless people make it as difficult?

Vor 3 Monate
ÆRational
ÆRational

Eh he needs to be careful with his declaration that real love is formed for "very logical reasons". His definition of love maybe, but I've seen a lot of evidence in my life that suggests love is definitely crazy at times.

Vor 3 Monate
Al
Al

Thank you.

Vor 3 Monate
Musashi Miyamoto
Musashi Miyamoto

The intro has put me off already. Also the term "Starphilosoph". No real philosopher seeks the limelight or writes self-help books. Ah, love, what is it? Well, an invention by society, media, consumerism. In the stone age nobody gave a damn about this, then it was just instincts. But of course, humankind had to shape it into form, make people tread the line. I suggest for everyone to read as much as you can, consider anthropolgy, mythology, history. Cause only when you know who and what came before you will you be able to find your own place in history. A very smart guy called Krishnamurti (no, no Bagwan, guru or anthing else of the sort) asked to consider love not as something restricted to one person, one thing, but to everything. To love, he said, is to appreciate every human being (whether you like them or not), animal, plant, etc., in the world. Not easy, I know, but I rather take that then live through numerous Valentine's Days, pretentious TV shows, or the general stupidity and reluctance to learn, to find out about yourself that you find almost everyhwere nowadays.

Vor 3 Monate
Livb
Livb

The woman was a really good interviewer. She's seems to have read some of his books and knows about the topic being discussed. Also seems genuinely interested about it when asking questions. She also brings up some very important points that Alain doesn't address directly

Vor 3 Monate
Alejandra Galvez
Alejandra Galvez

I would like to understand if in a relationship when two people love each other their own insanities can not coexist and turns really destructive. Like maybe at some point each of these people should find partners who can balance those insanities instead of make them worse with their own insanities as much as they love each other and the willingness to get better sometimes just feels like There’s no understanding in any part.

Vor 3 Monate
Summer
Summer

Everything has suffering…how would you like to suffer? Wow, this is an amazing perspective.

Vor 3 Monate
Rob Schmitt
Rob Schmitt

Get a baby and you'll see true love!

Vor 3 Monate
Valentin Hörzer
Valentin Hörzer

Surely he has some highly interesting points, however, I love that love is one of the only things we cannot or fail to understand ! In a world where everything is supposed to be explainable … and I love how some people are somewhat triggered that they just might have to try someday ;)

Vor 3 Monate
Andrew Stewart
Andrew Stewart

Take a shot every time he says the word 'love'

Vor 3 Monate
Roman Romero
Roman Romero

Love is a journey that takes a life time and has a different path for each individual.

Vor 3 Monate
Yassine Er-ramy
Yassine Er-ramy

interesting

Vor 3 Monate
Sim
Sim

I think love is much more complicated..i miss the deeper role or ( ancient) instincts, DNA matches etc especially according to Evolution

Vor 3 Monate
Sim
Sim

So actually you can love anyone by training??

Vor 3 Monate
yuotubeismispelled
yuotubeismispelled

There's a Twilight Zone episode ("The Chaser") that explores the same topic as the cartoon in the episode.

Vor 3 Monate
Yaikhomba Yengkhom
Yaikhomba Yengkhom

I think I definitely found myself in the way he's explaining, & that's now-then my ex left me in search of a non-existent perfect romantic environment/body; I feel so bad for her now 😅

Vor 3 Monate
District 8
District 8

Umgesehen und ungehört kann ich schon sagen. So etwas gibt es nicht. Es ist eine Illusion, ausgelöst durch die Ausschüttung bestimmter Hormone oder bestimmter Botenstoffe im Hirn. Ist wenig romantisch aber wohl wahr.

Vor 3 Monate
othershore
othershore

guarantee that western philosophy has no idea about true love. ıt is not smthng directed to other sex or a person. true love is generated within someone even without any directed object. ıt is a love of being one with universe. all other love descriptions are synthetic and misleading.

Vor 3 Monate
KMasch
KMasch

pseudoscience at its best. Without presenting ANY evidence for his theories whatsoever. Just dump everything on one's childhood. Just because something seems right doesn't mean it's true. she is, as always, perfect.

Vor 3 Monate
Sarah B
Sarah B

"Love is not just about finding pleasure, it's also about finding suffering that feels familiar." Seventeen years of failing relationship explained in one sentence.

Vor 3 Monate
KGS
KGS

Brilliant. He discussed the difficulties and dangers of romantic (romance) literature, and I would love to hear him go into a deep dive into those same problems with Disney stories and books. Personally, I find them very dangerous, especially for little girls. Whoever thought it was a great idea for a young girl/woman to “fall asleep” (especially by being poisoned), but then everything will be perfect when the right man, a stranger (a prince, no less) comes along to wake her up with his magic kiss, then marries her. Ah yes, perfect (sarcasm).

Vor 3 Monate
M A
M A

I’ve no idea, never experienced it. I can only imagine it’s someone that wants to live you and care for you .

Vor 3 Monate
Melania MoneyPenny
Melania MoneyPenny

most marriages end because of resentment ...financial affairs ...and or infidelity or substance abuse

Vor 3 Monate
Flor
Flor

So he thinks that shakespeare' plays teaches us how love?? ... movies, books and plays are not reality... i just dont get his point

Vor 3 Monate
Christian Spanfellner
Christian Spanfellner

Quite the contrary, de Botton clearly points out how love stories in literature and film may be quite artistic and entertaining but conveying destructive ideas of love.

Vor 3 Monate
Prinzessin Karla
Prinzessin Karla

According to Germany's best female magazine (;) Brigitte), we women are better not to notice men's bad sides in charakter, because otherwise we'd loose them.

Vor 3 Monate
alawia chusna
alawia chusna

Everything that sound unromantic is probably bery romantic in the true sense of helpful to the survival of love

Vor 3 Monate
Thérèse Fournier
Thérèse Fournier

A survey revealed that people, couples that is, have sex, about once a month, if that! Believe it, or not, they now prefer "Netflix" and pizza!

Vor 3 Monate
Thérèse Fournier
Thérèse Fournier

Love is mainly "long-suffering" and "kind" and doesn't ever overreact! when most run instead of cultivating it with honest and intimate communication!

Vor 3 Monate
Thérèse Fournier
Thérèse Fournier

"We don't want love, as a... performance"! Ahmein

Vor 3 Monate
Olga Jensen
Olga Jensen

Many ”AHA” moments … let`s learn about what love is: admiration, sensitivity, tenderness ❣️👏🏻🙏🏻👩🏻‍🦰

Vor 3 Monate
Achillea Ben
Achillea Ben

Still at the start of the video 7 min, and I also think same way!!! I always say if I know about your bad side and I can accept it then I will be able to continue in the relationship knowing what I'm going into and that I can handle it. This makes me intrigued to read the book since it is same idea I believe in. Now after finishing the video, I swear I feel like we share ideas through someway!!! Because all he said I thought of and I never heard of him or read anything he wrote before this video🤔

Vor 3 Monate
Nds lets player
Nds lets player

Imagine that there are no translators, she just knows English and he knows German

Vor 3 Monate
R
R

It's quite possible that the woman understands him very well, because here in Germany we learn the English language very intensively in schools. As a 17 year old teenager, I personally had no trouble understanding him without subtitles.

Vor 2 Monate
Thao Official
Thao Official

I always fascinated by his talking.

Vor 3 Monate
R
R

Same, I could listen to him for hours without taking a break.

Vor 2 Monate
Giulia S.
Giulia S.

All true, still be careful to choose a partner with low narcissistic behaviors, or you will be the only one compromising and changing.

Vor 3 Monate
ananse77
ananse77

Exactly.

Vor 2 Monate
Mathilda
Mathilda

This is always important, indeed.

Vor 2 Monate
LJM
LJM

I love this guy! Breaks the illusion and the fantasies!!

Vor 3 Monate
do Ellt
do Ellt

It doesn't resonate with me at all. It's very 'personable' and 'mumsy' and 'Super Guru'! Cupid needs psychoanalysis, right? :)

Vor 3 Monate
Bebe88
Bebe88

If there's any optimistic philosopher out there , he is 😊

Vor 3 Monate
Bebe88
Bebe88

Languages are so powerful and complex! One can listen to a foreign language and understands the whole sentence, while answering and expressing ideas in a complete other foreign language!

Vor 3 Monate
Thao Official
Thao Official

So interesting!!!

Vor 3 Monate
KobaltApollodorus
KobaltApollodorus

It's a small thing, but I love how he leans to the left to make room for the camera at 9:50 and returns to normal when she addresses him again.

Vor 3 Monate
Cécile Superfree
Cécile Superfree

he‘s very awake.

Vor Monat
Yasmin Böhme
Yasmin Böhme

Madame Bovary was doomed because she read the wrong novels♡

Vor 3 Monate
esse
esse

I think in love one shouldn't take her/himself too seriously.. just don't focus too much on the ego

Vor 3 Monate
Pumpkin
Pumpkin

Alain de Botton needs an interpreter. I'm shocked. That was some crazy skills by the off screen interpreters.

Vor 3 Monate
Mayra Huerta
Mayra Huerta

I love the School of Life.

Vor 3 Monate
Yoshimi Liu
Yoshimi Liu

he is so right

Vor 3 Monate
Maria Spaducci
Maria Spaducci

I would like Alain De Botton to write my married story and analise that.

Vor 3 Monate
L.
L.

It is an enormous progress if you can move from thinking your lover is an idiot to your lover is a lovable idiot :)

Vor 3 Monate
Ariel Hill
Ariel Hill

"love is not an admiration for the perfect. love is a sympathy for many things which are less than perfect. so, when you say you love something, you love something that's a bit broken. that's real love."

Vor 3 Monate
Mulat Okudžava
Mulat Okudžava

Man, maybe you should read Romeo and Juliet again, especially the end...

Vor 3 Monate
ChickPeaChannel
ChickPeaChannel

... so in essence ... to love someone requires a damn good sense of humour.

Vor 3 Monate
Beate Stolz
Beate Stolz

Ich hatte ein sehr schwieriges Elternhaus und habe mich für einen absolut gegensätzlichen Partner, als meine beiden Eltern entschieden. Warum? Habe ich nie verstanden, denn ich treffen grundsätzlich eher dumme Entscheidungen im leben. Meine Partnerwahl scheint eines der wenigen Dinge zu sein, wo ich richtig und für mich gesund gehandelt habe.

Vor 3 Monate
SiahBobiah
SiahBobiah

Communication and understanding is key

Vor 3 Monate
Samira Marcela Marmela Martela
Samira Marcela Marmela Martela

This video is amazing! I love it!!

Vor 3 Monate
shartrez little
shartrez little

he is beautiful

Vor 3 Monate
nuna nuna
nuna nuna

Is this the voice from School of Life or am I tripping?

Vor 3 Monate
Kristina
Kristina

Yess that's it! i knew i know this voice 🤔

Vor 3 Monate

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