Shopping For Groceries Like You're Not Single

  • Am Vor 6 years

    CollegeHumorCollegeHumor

    Dauer: 02:13

    Supermarkets make it simple to buy groceries for your entire family, and sad if you don't have one. Luckily this handy guide provides some useful advice for single shoppers who wish they weren't.
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CollegeHumor
CollegeHumor

Or do what I do and order Seamless every night. Food: the language of the mouth. Gods of Food, available now on DROPOUT! http://bit.ly/2YGpZ6K Don't live in CANADA, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND or the U.S.? Sign up here: https://bit.ly/2OiNNoP

Vor 6 years
fat mama
fat mama

i live in antarctica thank you

Vor 11 Monate
Tom Lawson
Tom Lawson

CollegeHumor The question is... _who are you?_

Vor 2 years
Cheryl C
Cheryl C

Hi love ur channel

Vor 2 years
fuck shit
fuck shit

who commented this and how do you sort out who comments on each video or am I just overthinking this?

Vor 2 years
Mordechai R.
Mordechai R.

Ok I'll watch this but then I gotta git to bed m8

Vor 2 years
J Girl
J Girl

I might have eaten hummus as a meal a few days ago and I feel called out... I'm not even single though, just poor during the pandemic. It's a meal!

Vor 2 Stunden
Steven
Steven

Why was this recommended to me.

Vor 4 Tage
Aeld Allkushi
Aeld Allkushi

It’s sad that 8.7 million people have watched this

Vor 5 Tage
Ms. Zombangle
Ms. Zombangle

1:49

Vor 6 Tage
Qtk Xtsh
Qtk Xtsh

So strange to see people without masks in public brrrr

Vor 6 Tage
Hunter Sour
Hunter Sour

Why does this guy in the video look like PhantomStrider

Vor 11 Tage
Silverfish0161
Silverfish0161

But a frozen pizza is a single meal for me...

Vor 12 Tage
Bander Snatch
Bander Snatch

you're a grown-ass man just buy the cigarettes

Vor 14 Tage
CandyDeluge
CandyDeluge

Never smile

Vor 15 Tage
Gringamalteca
Gringamalteca

so weird seeing people in a grocery store without masks.

Vor 19 Tage
I like puns
I like puns

panic attack in the groccery store hits different now that im older

Vor 20 Tage
Momo Sapiens
Momo Sapiens

Ha, I don't need to be in a relationship to but groceries for two

Vor 21 Tag
1eo G0rdon
1eo G0rdon

Anyone else mad confused that they’re not wearing masks

Vor 22 Tage
デストロイよしえ
デストロイよしえ

is the cashier Katie?

Vor Monat
fernando Vela Larrain
fernando Vela Larrain

So sad that he died mistiriously

Vor Monat
that guy
that guy

How to shop when your my dad

Vor Monat
Sophie Watson
Sophie Watson

REPORTED ○ This video is offensive ○ It shouldn't be on YouTube ◙ I am in this video and I don't like it ○ It's spam

Vor Monat
Daniel Pena
Daniel Pena

1:30 lmfao

Vor Monat
Cali Qm
Cali Qm

Man,2014 was 6 years ago,can you believe that?

Vor Monat
The Frugal Videogamer
The Frugal Videogamer

Bah, amateur - you go for the 3-pack pizzas. You save money, *and* have to take fewer trips to the store!

Vor Monat
Shonemeister
Shonemeister

Isn’t the dude from the thumbnail from Detroit become human.

Vor Monat
Nur Sliman
Nur Sliman

You should be proud that you're shopping for one. It means that you're a financially independent man, and you're no longer a burden to your parents.

Vor Monat
James T
James T

CH ahead of the curve on Goya

Vor 2 Monate
Dopamine Driven
Dopamine Driven

The panic attack part fuggin slayed me

Vor 2 Monate
Erthan
Erthan

Does buying 2 drinks at a drive thru so the cashier thinks you might just be a caring friend or boyfriend bringing home dinner rather than just a fatty with a way too large order count?

Vor 2 Monate
Skittle Gutts¡
Skittle Gutts¡

People actually care?

Vor 2 Monate
Corben Riley
Corben Riley

Hi I’m dough (Idk how to spell name

Vor 2 Monate
Sheshadri V
Sheshadri V

Sometimes I feel that Pat and Sheldon are alike.

Vor 2 Monate
River
River

Gotta try this out.

Vor 2 Monate
DoomGuy
DoomGuy

atleast pat gave us these tips before mike killed him

Vor 2 Monate
Caroline H.
Caroline H.

I’m a cashier and once my boss made me open and I fell asleep in the Goya aisle... miraculously I didn’t get fired but I am no longer ever scheduled in the mornings

Vor 2 Monate
HenThaiTea
HenThaiTea

I forgot what the outside world is like and this video feels entirely new to me even though i watched atleast 4 times in the past week.

Vor 2 Monate
nadohawk
nadohawk

The part about the Goya aisle always being empty is why I call BS on those who say they will never eat their products again as if it means anything

Vor 2 Monate
Sam
Sam

this isnt a sketch this is pat hyping himself up to go to the supermarket

Vor 2 Monate
Dankocratic
Dankocratic

Well the goya isle isnt empty anymore

Vor 2 Monate
Logan Nadeau
Logan Nadeau

This pandemic got all us bachelors using shopping carts instead of baskets already

Vor 2 Monate
ಠ_ಠ
ಠ_ಠ

This aged surprisingly well.

Vor 2 Monate
Midgey
Midgey

Ah the good ol' days where you could go to the grocery store

Vor 3 Monate
Vu Nguyen
Vu Nguyen

The shelves in Goya aisle is now actually empty thank to the CEO

Vor 3 Monate
nadohawk
nadohawk

Maybe because white people are actually buying their products now

Vor 2 Monate
A Human Being
A Human Being

Man I miss Pat.

Vor 3 Monate
Mr Perry
Mr Perry

maga goya

Vor 3 Monate
maxboo
maxboo

Lmao imagine ur single because ppl think ur dating

Vor 3 Monate
Chippy
Chippy

The background music is especially good in this video

Vor 3 Monate
cathoderaytube2
cathoderaytube2

He's missing the whole point of shopping while single ... to advertise one's status as such to others similarly situated.

Vor 3 Monate
Нейтральный Маппер
Нейтральный Маппер

Can someone explain me, why do you need this? Like, it doesn't make any sense, does anybody cares?

Vor 3 Monate
Dan S
Dan S

The cheapest vegetables... because they always go bad before you managed to persuade yourself to prepare and eat them. So relatable.

Vor 3 Monate
Yrac Senil
Yrac Senil

Tbh should just train yourself to not give a shit

Vor 3 Monate
django willis
django willis

That cashier is a fucking snitch, goddamn.

Vor 3 Monate
Leonardo Rodriguez
Leonardo Rodriguez

This is just a rip-off of O'Brian's sketch... Shame on you man..

Vor 3 Monate
no name found
no name found

This is from waaay before Grant:))

Vor 3 Monate
Bubble :3
Bubble :3

Why am I even watching this... I literally don't have any money.

Vor 3 Monate
TheGreyEevee *
TheGreyEevee *

That panic attack situation is very relatable. Mine is usually in the bread isle.

Vor 4 Monate
Jorge Lu
Jorge Lu

Is it just me or seeing people in grocery store without gloves and masks seems a bit weird ...

Vor 4 Monate
BlackCover95
BlackCover95

Clearly a product of its time.

Vor 3 Monate
Zacharion Tab
Zacharion Tab

I mean i do grocery shopping but I don't much care what others think except for tampons

Vor 4 Monate
C
C

Ive been needing a great place to have a panic attack. Thank you, college humor!

Vor 4 Monate
El X
El X

I’m having too many flashbacks to my grocery clerk training videos with that voice and music

Vor 4 Monate
Jack Stone
Jack Stone

How to shop like you’re not single: Step one: *_get a girlfriend_*

Vor 4 Monate
Roy's Decendant
Roy's Decendant

if it were that easy i wouldve never watched this now would i?

Vor 13 Stunden
Marinebattleships 1
Marinebattleships 1

You stupid idiot, we all know girlfriends are just mythical creatures, they don’t actually exist

Vor 8 Tage
Andrew
Andrew

Jackson Sanders boyfriend acquired.

Vor Monat
Suraj Singh
Suraj Singh

@Isaiah Takahashi for me that bit is 21 years

Vor 3 Monate
Jackson Sanders
Jackson Sanders

Heterosexuality , my worst fear

Vor 3 Monate
Matthew Wensley
Matthew Wensley

Real question - why was that lady so confused by the milk, even before Pat's phone rang?

Vor 4 Monate
Insert_dark_edgy_username
Insert_dark_edgy_username

Was that the tf2 craft sound

Vor 4 Monate
K Boucher
K Boucher

"Try and limit yourself to 10 cans of chunky soup. Anymore garantees wierd looks from the cashiers." Except cashiers don't give a crap about you and what you're buying from my experience - as a cashier.

Vor 4 Monate
Noah Summers
Noah Summers

@Sourav Parik first of all, while many cashiers don't care, there are, without a doubt, many judgemental cashiers who do care. Secondly, the jokes seem to be more than sufficient, considering the like to dislike ratio and number of views

Vor 2 Tage
Sourav Parik
Sourav Parik

@Noah Summers the jokes are supposed to be relatable

Vor 2 Tage
Noah Summers
Noah Summers

It's almost like it's a joke

Vor 4 Tage
zodiac
zodiac

Teorically im not a single man anymore, thx to ytube im a grown family member, thanky you internet

Vor 4 Monate
A.
A.

“And remember, humus is a meal” Would you say it’s technically a meal

Vor 4 Monate
Momo Sapiens
Momo Sapiens

Soup?

Vor 21 Tag
Jorja Panda
Jorja Panda

Simply’s boyfriend loves humus

Vor 2 Monate
Kodex Tutorials
Kodex Tutorials

I uNdErsTo0d ThAt R3fErEnCe. But seriously I did

Vor 4 Monate
Yoshi Dinono
Yoshi Dinono

I'm recently single too. If by recent you mean 20 years.

Vor 4 Monate
travis summerville
travis summerville

The party sub part does not ring true.. I took down one in a night whenever I bought a larger sub and then felt worse 😂

Vor 4 Monate
Fgbgob
Fgbgob

Just buy double your normal food.

Vor 5 Monate
Ultrajante
Ultrajante

my god.. i feel personally ATTACKED

Vor 5 Monate
elijah diez
elijah diez

recently single yeah right all of you are all single forever

Vor 5 Monate
NEWT A5
NEWT A5

THIS IS A THING?! I would've never even thought about that. We all have plenty of things we get nervous about, don't invent extra stuff!

Vor 5 Monate
Nick Tr.
Nick Tr.

This is painfully unfunny

Vor 5 Monate
That Onionツ
That Onionツ

just buy 2 of anything

Vor 5 Monate
Emanuel
Emanuel

The girl at 1:28 sexy af

Vor 5 Monate
The music man
The music man

Tips to make ur self look cool: 1. Buy the biggest box and size of condoms and don’t be nervous when buying 2. Those we’re all my tips

Vor 5 Monate
Ajkkiller3000
Ajkkiller3000

Pat castles funny

Vor 5 Monate
Ravenclaw
Ravenclaw

jokes on you: no one gives a shit about your existence

Vor 5 Monate
Mr. Boy
Mr. Boy

Just buy a condom and you wouldn't sound single

Vor 5 Monate
just a cat a cat a cat a cat
just a cat a cat a cat a cat

The best way is to: If someone asked you out (*I M P O S S I B L E) Say no

Vor 5 Monate
ugnies vilkas
ugnies vilkas

Dammit i could have used these tips. Sadly im in a relationship now, missed my chance

Vor 5 Monate
Gezi5
Gezi5

ugnies vilkas god damn it!!!

Vor 5 Monate
300_Prabu Asshidiq
300_Prabu Asshidiq

He looks like lahey

Vor 5 Monate
MrUnlimitedTorque
MrUnlimitedTorque

Love the 90's vibe of this

Vor 5 Monate
Kavi Gupta
Kavi Gupta

"hummus is in fact a meal" ok I feel very attacked

Vor 5 Monate
random man
random man

extremely

Vor 4 Tage
Aaron Smith
Aaron Smith

But it is. I make it as a meal lol

Vor 4 Monate
Harley Atcosta
Harley Atcosta

Is it bad I've actually done that? On multiple occasions?

Vor 4 Monate
Ice 11
Ice 11

This is pre coronavirus cause their is toilet paper in the aisle

Vor 5 Monate
MashMosh
MashMosh

Yeah, hummus is a meal! I eat it frequently! Just add olive oil and paprika and dip bread into it and boom - lazy dinner!

Vor 5 Monate
Jonathan Ross
Jonathan Ross

I wish you would have gone through the paper aisle. Forgot what a full one looks like.

Vor 5 Monate
Stitch
Stitch

Lol, what about being single takes away your dignity? 😂

Vor 5 Monate
Kuldeep Dhaliwal
Kuldeep Dhaliwal

Is this suppose to funny

Vor 5 Monate
Josh Gibbons
Josh Gibbons

As a family man I gotta say I'm constantly using a basket just to top up on groceries that get eaten/forgotten, yep every single day...

Vor 6 Monate
Nice teddy bear Chandler
Nice teddy bear Chandler

Why would i want to shop like im not single? I dont... understand?

Vor 6 Monate
Pusheenosaurous 328
Pusheenosaurous 328

This guy looks like Shaggy

Vor 6 Monate
Yoshi Dinono
Yoshi Dinono

Leave him alone. His dog just died.

Vor 4 Monate
Asem Ibrahim
Asem Ibrahim

Wait hummus is actually a meal

Vor 6 Monate
Josh
Josh

Avocados, also A meal.

Vor 6 Monate
MineWit
MineWit

Well, were screwed.

Vor 6 Monate
Julia S
Julia S

Back when Pat was alive. Rip Pat

Vor 6 Monate
Sergeant FredPy
Sergeant FredPy

I followed the steps. But everyone saw me watching this so. Heck

Vor 6 Monate
Optimistic Watermelon
Optimistic Watermelon

*R E C E N T L Y S I N G L E*

Vor 6 Monate
The Irish Yoshi
The Irish Yoshi

Imagine actually having shame, pathetic

Vor 6 Monate
C i
C i

Hummus IS a meal

Vor 6 Monate
Chris Klugh
Chris Klugh

The sad thing is, nobody will notice. That's why their single.

Vor 6 Monate
Edrik A.L
Edrik A.L

Next Video how to "try" to not being an idiot

Vor 6 Monate
Gabe Shakour
Gabe Shakour

Gosh, remember when people thinking you’re single was the biggest worry while shopping?

Vor 6 Monate
Matron
Matron

1:22 😂 I had to laugh

Vor 6 Monate

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