"Gaystapo" and "closet police". This guy is brilliant XD

Don't forget Homonacht.

*Y A S S Q U E E N*

"The average human pees 6-8 times a day." I pee like, twice a day...

Ok so this might be weird for me to say, but 1. people pee every 3-4 hours 2. If you are concerned about how much you pee, look at the color of it. If it's dark and more orange than that's a concern. 3. Or you could just go to a doctor if you're really concerned about it

@@dragonflies__7513 my pees fine, we already got it checked out. I guess I'm just weird ._.

@@Bean-mr8sf well that's good I guess ;-; this is weird and awkward Glad your healthy though Have a good day/night..?

@@dragonflies__7513 thanks for your concern stranger

:0 how much do u drink? Every time I drink something I have to pee like 5 seconds later (Not really, just feels like it sometimes)

“I can hear them chanting YAASSS QUEEN!!” *throws glitter enthusiastically into the air with a dead pan expression*

Why did i see this exactly when he said that-

Throws glitter without throwing glitter

Mason Klotz ._.

hA, dead PAN GeT iT bEcaUse iM a PaNsexUaL, aNd iM deaD iNsiDe

I lost it when I heard Gaystapo. Just imagine the most flamboyantly gay men in very colorful suits interrogating you with the most over exaggerated gay voice ever.

I'd die of laughter before they even got to the tickle torture.

So... James Charles?

@@brotherkhrayn3525 pretty much

@@AlliedX you just can't keep a straight face during such a thing.

The “YASS QUEEN” killed me, I scared my cat laughing

Same, I lost my shit XD

*I n t e n s e w h e e z e*

Skeptical Wolf you did a bad thing by scaring your cat there is know a army of cats coming to your house

Shiny Night It was on accident , I gave a great head rub for it lol

Good I’ll tell the army to stop

I couldn’t stop laughing at the pride month thing Jesus Christ my lungs

Derek Fisher oh yes because straight people don’t do that every other month of the year, i love your logic sir

Derek Fisher never. straight pride isn’t a thing because straight people never suffered for being straight.

@Derek Fisher you realize they only got to legally marry less than 10 years ago right?

Some person: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” This subreddit: Hold my stick

And my bones

@@kfleischmanvids what

@@Hm-mn3ip "hold my stick"

Damien, your voice really butters my croissant. I love it

*Really waters my crops*

@@jasonmartin4775 Nice

It really bakes my bread.

it really smelts my iron ore

It’s cuts into my baguette no not french for magic wand I mean the real baguette like made of bread

I love Damien. He's just a humble guy, working in middle class and getting a paying hobby that he enjoys doing. It's just so wholesome.

@Stanley2000 **exgirlfriend but true

Stanley2000 you should probably watch the response

Rayne Cat debunked, hw dated a clingy nice girl that tried to ruin his career he made a video with evidence

This dude straight up ignored “gaystapo” and “homonacht” I’m wheezing

DKGames In my opinion, that was the BEST reply of this compilation

“The gaystapo” is my favorite quote of all time

Nicky h225 said by Gaydolph Hitler

Advacado Man these puns are the only funny ones

Oh u are ze straight one OFF TO THE RAINBOW CHAMBER WITH YOU

how'd you do in PE today?

“Gaystapo” Im dead. No but help me they are in the next room im in a cupboard help

Woahh tc dude lmao 😂

@@jeromemanuel2247 It's safe to assume he was caught

Did they get you?

“i could hear them chanting YAAS QUEEN” 💀💀💀

"the average human urinates six to eight times a day" WHAT

edgelord What kind of average human does that? Or have we ascended?

I go about 2-3 times

Pretty normal if you drink normal like atleast 2ltr a day

@@babress3119 That's entirely false, there are many reasons why you might not feel all that thirsty despite needing more water. There's more than just old studies on how much water a body goes through. We lose about half a litre of water per day just through normal breathing alone.

@@mitchwilliamson5552 If there is too much water in your body it just gets rid of it via urinating? Thats how the body keeps care of the homeostasis. Why should you drink more water if you are just urinating it away?

I f*cking lost it at "homonacht." That whole post was gold.

Same, the homonacht part was fucking priceless.

English isn’t my first language, what was that referring to?

@@Monkeynuts502 I may be wrong, but wasn't it a purging of the SA?

@@missnizny9278 Nah, that was the Night of the Long Knives, my original comment was edited because I thought that as well until I checked.

A woman said to Winston Churchill “if I was your wife I would poison your coffee” he responded “if I was your husband I would drink it” Edit:And also when someone from a private school said to him “we were taught to wash our hands after going to the toilet” he responded with “at my school we were taught not to piss on our hands”

Winston Churchill is a r/Murderedbywords gold mine.

I've heard this one before. Still makes me laugh 😂

Matthew Connelly fucking love that one as well the human race will never produce an absolute unit like that again

MγsTIc DEMON I’ve considered causing 2 more world wars 1 so new Winston can grow up in the right environment and the second so he can defend himself against the aggressors

"Jens" is a first name from Northern Germany and is actually pronounced "Yens". How do I know? Well, that's my name. My name is Jens. Edit: It's a male first name, so shut the hell up about Jennifer.

Nooo your name is “Number Two”

Hi Jenny how's it my friend

@@Nater2204 Doin' great, how about you?

@@jens-ovebeier6901 lel

Jennifer, is that you?

4:22 This mans needs to write a book with this theme, that was friggin beautiful. I'd read that in a heartbeat

I've considered it for a while tbh

"The rise of the gaystapo"

It's a funny concept, a reversal of the current world..... but cranked up to about 750%. I love it

I feel like it's based of of "The Book Thief". Which takes place during WW2. Edit: only a certain aspect of the book tho.

Like a joke novella

“The average human urinates 6 to 8 times a day” John Mulaney: *11*

Chosenmaple 99 *reaching for gloves* there may be something wrong with your prostate

@@yourbookisexceptionallylou4906 No no. I was lying. It was a lie. To get drugs. Like a crime.

“The average human urinates 6-8 times a day” *Are you challenging me?* Edit: So according to the replies, i am so mighty and powerful and all of you are so weak and pathetic that I singlehandedly raise the average to 6-8 times a day? That seems about right.

Six to eight times...? I barely pee 5 times a week!

For me it is twice or three times a day

@@stoopiosproductions3130 ummm you need some help then

Yeah scrolled down to say something. I only go 2 or 3 times. Tf

Oh no..oh..oh no.....

Can we please just have a post where someone actually murdered someone with words?

Lol yea xD

😨 "words" 🔫😃

We meet again

Damians laugh makes these videos a million times better!

People trying to start arguments about race? Must be Tumblr

I... think you haven‘t been around in 2020 then... Edit: oh sorry this vid was posted in 2019 lol

@@istolejisoosdalgom3665 also it’s just such a Tumblr thing to do lol any time you see a post like those ones odds are, yep, it’s Tumblr

Or Twitter

Or Facebook. Or the usa

most of the 14 year old tumblr girls moved to twitter by now.

“I can hear them screaming YAAAAS QUEEN!” OMG LMFAO 😂

what got me was the thing about thigh high boots

The whole thing was funny but the yass queen and thigh high boots part had me screaming

Damien doesn’t laugh at the actual posts, he laughs at his own jokes

MORE CURSED COMMENTS. This is okay too,but I want to crack up when I'm supposed to be sleeping

FrontEye's Videos just download reddit and look at cursed comments lol

@@yukariko487 nah man,I'd rather crack up on the 2 episodes he has made,

The sub is now posting mostly non-cursed posts so it should be hard to find content there rn

Pirs of Catarina yes

Exactly

The ‘YASS QUEEN’s are still echoing in my mind to this day.....

I can't sleep at night because I'm not sure if the "YASS QUEEN" is coming from outside or my mind...

My teacher wont stop saying it

Look at the dude’s username

YASS QUEEN, YAS QUEEN, YAS QUEEN!

The first things I thought of when I read this were “KAMAKURA KAMAKURA YAS QUEEN!” And “Wow Shuichi, you really snatched my weave. WIG- *YAS QUEEN* !

4:36. I usually don’t laugh at names but my god is the funny name. Gaydolph Shitler has to be the funniest name I’ve seen on Reddit ever.

YEESS QWEEN

"White Africa isn't a thing" Me: I do not exist then.

North Africa?

South Africa

What is africa like? Are the rains blessed by toto?

@@Sexy_Stev not poor and savage like you see in tv

Sad i do not exist either, oh well

“I can hear them yelling YASS QUEEN,YASS QUEEN! Outside in the streets!” Omg! Very creative! Give the person who wrote this a medal!🤣

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen the reply to heterosexuals in pride month, but I’m still dying over the fact that the person who replied is named “Gaydolph Shitler”.

"Gaystapo" and "Homonacht" -- someone give that dude an award!

Care to explain why? Im curious.

@@edwfelt7490 - Are you asking why I like it? Those words are a spin on the original words "Gestapo" and "Kristallnacht," showing how dumb the OP's statement was by twisting some horrific examples of the Nazis' abusive power and conflating them with a wrongly-feared "gay agenda." It was all done in sassy fun and is kind of comical to imagine a gay militant force fabulously goose-stepping around the streets in thigh-high boots and destroying "breeder's" livelihoods in a homosexual-led Night of Broken Glass. Or if you were just disagreeing with my finding it funny, then simply disregard this.

Walter Clements Are you misspelling those words on purpose or are you speaking Scottish?

SPCStudios 2017 bruh

“Do you think I’ve peed a million times in my life?” Yeah, he’s dumb. You just did all the work for him though.

Does it count as separate incidents of peeing if you hold it for a sec?

I lowkey just want these people who go back and forth online to just fight it out

Rule #1 of Internet Flame Wars: Do not reply to a comment with a discussion about Fight Club.

Rule #1 of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight Club

“Poor Jared. Lost his marriage, DIGITY, and sub loss record.”

Your "YAAASSSS QUEEN" gives me almost enough life as your laugh does.

You are on all the vids lol

@@fernandosalazar730 yup

@Eemi Lehto no u.

@Eemi Lehto good one

As a gay girl, same and I’m laughing my ass off that whole post

I actually let out a laugh at the “gaystapo” part, damn that retort was really good

"no vaccines in my day" how OLD is that person??? My parents are nearly 60 and got the small pox & polio vaccines in high school ?????

its probably like zeus or something

Probably a prehistoric sea jelly or something.

Apollo is just upset because his sister Artemis started using vaccines on her hunters and he wants to prove that he could heal them even though he makes mistakes every once in awhile

apollo was mad at zeus because hes a hecking mortal now

4:25 I can’t get over the “gaystapo.” That killed me for some reason the word play just worked so well.

Marching in their thigh-high boots.

The closet police

Damien just makes these so much funnier cause he keeps wheezing after most of them

What made me laugh today is my boyfriend jokingly naming a fictional cockroach after a fictional character

I don't know if you'll ever see this in the vast sea of comments, Damien, but I have to say that hearing your laughter on these videos really raises my mood! Keep up the awesome work with these videos!

2:24 Doctor: So uh, how'd she get pregnant? Dad: **Shit**

The “Gaystapo” instead of the ‘Gestapo’ actually got me

I'm glad someone else noticed that, I couldn't stop laughing.

the best thing was his user ‘gaydolphshitler’

I just want to shake that guy's hand

I read this amazing book called "The Book Thief" which yeah, the main character has a Jewish guy hiding in her home and there were multiple instances of the Gestapo searching the home and almost finding him, and there was a chapter where he described a similar scenario as to the post this guy made. I imagined exactly the same city and home as I did in the book, but with gleaming rainbow pride flags rather than dusty streets. Yes, give that gentlesir and award (and check out that book if you can too, Death is the narrator 👌)

all this nazi talk. reminds me of someone asking on a forum what Mein Kraft was 10 years ago. to which someone replies "its the lesser known arts and crafts boook written by hitler

I've been watching you maybe an hour, hour & 1/2 & honestly, your laugh gives me life

It’s 2:30 AM and I’m up watching your videos. You truly are the king of Subreddit Narration.

Jared’s got most of his subs back now that he proved his innocence vs the criminal claims btw. Also losing a wife you didn’t love anymore isn’t a loss.

The thing that made me laugh today was talking to my friends about D&D. Specifically, my friend reminded me of our one-man trial session and I completely lost my shit. Our friend group never saw me laugh so hard before and now they really really want to try out D&D even though we didn’t even talk about what it is and just about when and where we’re gonna play it.

“the average human urinates 6-8 times a day” i must not be an average human then oopsies

@LolManMacHee what

Finally, I’m above average!

4:53 - their username is “GaydolphShitler”. now THAT is a true, beautiful masterpiece.

áine hoye omg I didn’t notice 😆

Your unabashed support for LGBT people honestly makes me so happy

I doubt the post was against normal gays.

I don't remember what the post was because I have the memory of a goldfish :)

I see emkay is appealing to his British audience. Nice.

10:00 hes actually right. I assume that he means a sequel where it is a full female lead wich is a way to bank in on certain audiences

Yeah. Like the lame Ghostbusters they did.

Little Rey Skywalker in the Disney Star Wars remakes...

the dude talked about remakes with leads as just a play, not standalone films, so Arnold isn't in the right there, he didn't read what he said. Lynda in terminator 1 and 2 as the lead was great because, guess what, those are standalone movies, but the shitty remake with an all-female cast for ghostbusters as a cheap ploy of "Women empowerment" is bad. Hollywood uses it as a crutch for any publicity, good or bad, and its sad sometimes good movies with female leads are pushed aside for these woke movies with no substance.

I swear EmKay's laugh is contagious

10:18 not really sure how that's a "murdered by words" when OP was clearly talking about classics that DIDN'T have female or racial leads then the reboots suddenly do. They're 100% right about Hollywood's forced diversity ploy.

I half agree. I love to see more women in media, but sometimes too many isn't the way to go. The diversity in movies and media seems so forced these days. I'm not sure how, but they should try to make it feel more natural

@@alilordoftheskies5079 They can do that by simply making movies with female leads, NEW movies, not just taking an old movie, making the lead black/female/LGBT/whatever. Anyone who thinks someone who is selling you a product gives a flying fuck about diversity or equality is very naive. Look at google, they led a huge campaign for gender equality and less than a year later got exposed for LITERALLY paying their female workers less than men, not the "72% of what men earn" crap, which is total BS, but actually paying the same job titles who work the same hours less per hour, ignoring qualification, work effort and other factors.

They were specifically talking about the terminator movies in an earlier post.

@@justanalterwithacoolsabero6701 oh ok

*Gaydolph Shitler* is no-one going to mention that?

LukyanTheGreat The Gaystapo

@@cthulhuftagn4645 Gaymes Charles

Username checks out when you add an Uno reverse card.

r/rareinsults

Well that is quite a fitting name

Alan with a silent k You murdered me with words

Your laugh is wholesome. I had a really shitty day before I heard it. Thanks mate!

can someone just make a compilation of EmKay laughing, it’ll cure depression.

damien saying "yass queen" is the best thing i've heard all day

"Why spend money on robot bees?" *BECAUSE I WANT MY ROBOT BEE ARMY, KEVIN! GET OUT OF MY LAB!*

"The Gaystapo." Omg I'm done, that one got med good. 😆

It got my grandmas meds pretty badly considering shes dead

@@hazz4rd201 omg stop it y'all xD

Jared: I’ve lost everything at least I have my sub loss record James Charles: hold my beer

T-Series: Gimme that beer, and I won't immediately ask YouTube to demonetize your videos.

More like hold my make up lol

the funny thing is that james charles wouldnt have a beer. it would be some sort of sparkling water lololololololololol

He’s back guys! Edit: forgot to say that’s he isn’t guilty.

The fact that it's Chris Ray Gun on top of it makes it so much sweeter.

You should make a Third channel named EmKay Ultra Edit: Due to conclusive research, I have found out this is his 3rd channel

lilianthiriet What about EmKay 11

a second channel for a second channel but not really

*THIS*

EmKay Armageddon

:3

Damian screaming "YAAAS QUEEN!!!" gives me so much life.

No wonder Batman’s butler called him master Bruce when he was young then started telling him mister Bruce

Damien feels like an uncle i havent seen in a while

"the gaystapo" i’m cackling

It's called the GAYSTAPO FREAKING HILARIOUS

okay but HOMONACHT as a reference to krystallnacht,,,,now that was golden

"they are in ze closet"

@@zonkko is that a coming out of the closet joke

@@Clayton-vn6pe maybe

Honestly one of my favorite subreddits, they're all so good, but I'll go with the public opinion that the one with the "gaystapo" was the best, I was actually laughing

His laugh make it funnier that it already is dude made my day keep it up😁

Being bisexual during Pride Month is like being bisexual during every other month. Still only half the people I know are interested in doing naked shenanigans with me and I still don't know which ones are which not counting the ones that already have. There needs to be heightened awareness about people having this problem...

What made me laugh today, Damien? You. You and your bust-a-gut, wheezing, contagious laughter. I love it. You could tell me a terrible joke and I wouldn't laugh, but then if I heard you start laughing at it, I'd lose my sh!t.

It brings me immense satisfaction to listen to murdered by words

9:35 oh my god. OH MY GOD. IT'S A FRICKIN' SHOULDER EVERYBODY FREAK OUT just like school dress codes

I dunno man, if I see a shoulder, I just can't help but NUT all over the place. Women should protect my purity by just ceasing to exist.

*Hellfire from **_The Hunchback of Notre Dame_** intensifies.*

Ik!

Mr. Smith You know what they say, “if she breathes she’s a THOT”

Don't forget about the ankles and elbows. Even just thinking about it makes me faint!

'YAS QUEEN' LMAO. Hearing that was like VR. We need to find the OP and give him/her an Oscar!

His laugh is the reason why I’m still living.. *_Seriously.._*

The mr and Mrs guy was truly murdered by words Roaster spoke it like a sir🎩

The irish one pissed me off so much I am Irish and here's why 1) It's Gaeilge, not Gaelic. As Gaeilge is a type of Gaelic, yes, but they are not the same language. Never have been. 2) How is 20 black kids going to kill the Irish language?? As long as I can remember the government has made it mandatory for all children (except those with dyslexia, who can't speak English, etc, etc) to learn Gaeilge 3) That guy is completely correct, the British (English mostly) 100% did try to destroy our culture, even at one point making it illegal to go to church and pray to the Catholic God, that's why deep in Irish forests there are mass rocks, where catholics would go in hiding with a priest to pray to their gods. There is still one standing in my town to this very day after the church was burnt down by the British Monarch All I have to say. Oh also, fuck racists

@@PongoXBongo Pretty sure Karens are the racist ones

Would u like like to speak to the page administrator?

Ah, White European Nationalists...

Good job mah fellow irish

9:03 That voice acting was amazing.

I thought the first one was Wallace from Wallace and gromit for some reason...

"gaystapo" I choked on my food with that one

An idea for ending, you should ask a question, as random as can be, then choose your favourite reply to show on the next video.

Agreed

Sounds great

your laugh is the reason I wake up in the morning

“The average person pees 6-8 times a day” *that means 50% of the world pees more that 6-8 times a day*

I don't know if the heat coming from my screen is the phone overheating or the roasting being narrated by EmKay but I am enjoying this video either way

7:16 Puts Alfred calling Bruce Wayne "Master Bruce" in a whole different light. Alfred, you see, is British. He will 100% be using the British rule here. When Alfred calls Batman "Master Bruce" he's basically affectionately calling him a young whippersnapper. This is amazing and I need everyone to know this.

Damien's Laughing/Wheezing: *[Exists]* Me: EVERYONE LIKE THAT!

You sounded like such a dad in the end card. "Did you have a good day at school?" Oh yes father I had a glorious day 😂 I love your channel so much

I subbed because you're funny! there are so many Reddit channels now, just keep it natural and funny I'll be here :-)

About that first meme, I'm a big fan of ProJared and all the current and previous members of NormalBoots. Jared explained that the accusations were false. If you click on any of his older videos and look in the comments, you'll probably see at least ten people in there who say they're rewatching all his videos to make up for the hate he got.

Damien's laugh is so precious I can't

I get really happy every time my country is mentioned in a meme or an Emkay video because my country is pretty underrated so every time it's mentioned here I get so unbelievably happy

Being murdered by words is when someone kills you with a dictionary.

This comment is severely underrated.

"Marky mark and the zuckerbunch" Im dying!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Tbh I think the Mr and Mrs thing is an easy conclusion to come to, not everyone knows the etymology of the words. Not worth getting mad over, though. The OP kind of overblew it.

I was taught in school this: Mr: Male Mrs: Married Woman Miss: Unmarried Woman Ms: Widowed Woman

Also a lot of people don't live in England, and a child shouldn't be someone's master, no one should be someone else's master.

r/Murderedbywords is probably my favorite subreddit because of the sheer fricking craftsmanship that goes into the replies

Best thing I heard today: "INCOMING!" *everybody ducks* *Sploosh* "Damn it, they were all the way across the field!" Context: Last two days of school, ROTC teacher breaks out the water balloons and slingshots, and someone got nailed in the face by the other team from across the entire football field. ^^

That post about synthetic bees actually has a follow-up. There's a lot of situations, for example in space stations, where it'd be difficult (possibly painful, and even lethal) for real bees to work. In certain cases, these mini-robots *are* in fact *helping actual bees* by relieving some pressure from their backs, as well. https://curlicuecal.tumblr.com/post/157344989925/pts-m-d-thetrippytrip-dont-you-just-love

This dudes laugh could cure cancer 😂

Tbaby Loves you yup

Tbaby Loves you yup

@@mavisdom-animeonpiano Yup

Yup

Yup

"The average human urinates 6-8 times a day" Does that include accident bed wetting/laughing to hard/sneeze/cough to hard?

Your laugh made me go haha today, Its like a part of my soul goes for a ride on the best amusement park, thank you Damien

I love the post that called out the father. Me and mother (raised Catholic) have a lot of debate over religious ideologies, followers, and plot holes