Jimmy On McDonalds | Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes

  • Am Vor Monat

    Jimmy CarrJimmy Carr

    Dauer: 2:08

    Is anyone taking their girlfriend on a date to McDonalds?
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Kaloyan Bankov
Kaloyan Bankov

McDonald's coffee is actually pretty good

Vor 23 Tage
ATL
ATL

Not even funny

Vor 25 Tage
Craig Thompson
Craig Thompson

Why is Jimmy standing infront of a picture of Muhammad Ali??

Vor 25 Tage
Everything and Anything
Everything and Anything

Because their both great in their own fields

Vor 22 Tage
joespice1999
joespice1999

What does mcdonalds and michael jackson have in common? They both put 40 year old meat inside 12 year old buns. Lol... that would have been a great jimmy carr joke there

Vor 25 Tage
Lewis Kelly
Lewis Kelly

Did Jimmy pay his taxes on this show?

Vor 25 Tage
Pwrinkle Johnson
Pwrinkle Johnson

A McDonald’s toilet once made me doze off. It was in Japan. The lighting was soft, the walls were deep red, the seat was heated and a babbling brook was oozing from the speakers. Best lunch ever!

Vor 25 Tage
No ThisIsPatrick
No ThisIsPatrick

Literally for the past few years all I’ve gone into McD’s for was the toilet. Actually one time I had ice cream. 👌🏼

Vor 25 Tage
Citric Big t
Citric Big t

Explain the underground joke please

Vor 26 Tage
Citric Big t
Citric Big t

Oh , hands fritzel

Vor 26 Tage
Callum Ratcliffe
Callum Ratcliffe

TRANSGENDER ⚧!

Vor 26 Tage
observer 28
observer 28

Jimmy Carr is not funny. He is no comedian...... he is a bore-edian

Vor 27 Tage
Specialized 29er
Specialized 29er

who was living underground for 25 years?

Vor 27 Tage
James Watson Atheist Gamer
James Watson Atheist Gamer

The Fritzl burger.

Vor 25 Tage
Just Another Human Being
Just Another Human Being

@Pied Piper anytime :]

Vor 25 Tage
Pied Piper
Pied Piper

@Just Another Human Being Thank you!

Vor 26 Tage
Just Another Human Being
Just Another Human Being

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case

Vor 27 Tage
Reeze Vlog
Reeze Vlog

he looks like an android...

Vor 27 Tage
H M
H M

Or a creepy ventriloquist

Vor 18 Tage
John C
John C

McDonalds is the main reason we have so many 300 lb. mastodons waddling around here in the states, that and a lack of mental and physical exercise.

Vor 27 Tage
Gambit771
Gambit771

Notice he couldn't ask him if she'd booked a restaurant for valentines day.

Vor 27 Tage
Gambit771
Gambit771

@fenhen Good luck believing that. Not saying it never happens but there's a massive reason that out is men judged and mocked for taking their partner out and not the other way round.

Vor 26 Tage
fenhen
fenhen

Gambit771 yes...? If you’re a man and you’re unhappy that your girlfriend doesn’t take you out, then get a new girlfriend. Don’t suggest that this somehow means that Jimmy Carr couldn’t ask if it were possible.

Vor 26 Tage
Gambit771
Gambit771

@fenhen He couldn't because the joke relies on someone taking their partner to an expensive restaurant.

Vor 27 Tage
fenhen
fenhen

What do you mean he “couldn’t”? He could have, he just didn’t.

Vor 27 Tage
Mr Jam
Mr Jam

this guy is not funny

Vor 28 Tage
Yes Man
Yes Man

Var ‘tis darse lol

Vor 28 Tage
Patricia Xxxx
Patricia Xxxx

Great work on the makeup.. looks great!!

Vor 28 Tage
OLBICHL
OLBICHL

wha... ohhhh McDonalds... I was hearing madonna's and wondered what experience one would have there... your tastebud's probably like a virgin, touched for the very first time. A Brit-restaurant would even be so expensive, you'll pull your hair out

Vor 28 Tage
Russell Anderson
Russell Anderson

Enjoyed your video and gave it a Thumbs Up

Vor 28 Tage
orionvassi
orionvassi

In Hong Kong, McDonalds saved my ass on many occasion. Thanks for the can Ray!

Vor 28 Tage
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

Oh keep going, there's day's left of Mc Jokes you can give out, the only food in the world that will outlook and outlast the consumer in appearance

Vor 28 Tage
ObZ Machine
ObZ Machine

Mc Donald's is a real estate business

Vor 28 Tage
Rainer Riegler
Rainer Riegler

2 seconds in and I'm already laughing

Vor 29 Tage
wilson lawson
wilson lawson

And whenever I went in the lavvy at a MacDonald they were always clean.

Vor 29 Tage
Jake Heke
Jake Heke

@Regimeshifts wankers

Vor 27 Tage
Calum Robinson
Calum Robinson

@Regimeshifts I'm fairly sure only this one person...

Vor 27 Tage
Regimeshifts
Regimeshifts

who says lavvy?

Vor 27 Tage
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

The staff were always having to clean up the vomit on the walls

Vor 28 Tage
MARTIN BS
MARTIN BS

Pls explain joke at 1:00

Vor Monat
Steve A
Steve A

The Lads. Bad things? U r the master of understatement.

Vor 28 Tage
The Lada
The Lada

I heard it's 'bout some guy called Joseph Fritzl. The guy locked his daughter into a basement for around 25 years. He also did some bad things with his daughter.

Vor 29 Tage
John Smith
John Smith

This guy looks like he’s Gnna pull a rabbit out of his ass

Vor Monat
LDM2015
LDM2015

McDonald's is shite, burger king is way better

Vor Monat
Simon TV
Simon TV

This is new haha

Vor Monat
Scott Walker
Scott Walker

Last time I went to a McDonald's, there was a HUGE woman and 2 piggies that might've been her kids. They got several filled trays and then talked about how good they are doing on their diet…

Vor Monat
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

@Scott Walker Might have blown their Hangcock thongs out huh, life is sure tough on the poor downtrodden housewife, bet she grabbed a traveller roast chook and 3 litres of Coke on the way home

Vor 28 Tage
Scott Walker
Scott Walker

Fishpest Aussie yeah. They backed off to only half the delivery load instead of 2/3 of it

Vor 28 Tage
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

What, had they cut back on their 20000 kilojoules consumption on their first trays

Vor 28 Tage
Scott Walker
Scott Walker

LitoGeorge yeah. They deliver now…

Vor Monat
LitoGeorge
LitoGeorge

@Scott Walker well, then its time to leave the choices to the people. You can take a pig to McDonalds but you can't.......... oh wait.

Vor Monat
qantya
qantya

I haven't eaten food-like substances from McDonald's since 1977, which helps explain my perfect health.

Vor Monat
David Houghton
David Houghton

I’d rather eat my shoe than McDonald’s!💩

Vor Monat
Hareece Thorogood
Hareece Thorogood

@avinotion I see what you did there👏

Vor 29 Tage
avinotion
avinotion

Obviously. Those clown shoes are enormous!

Vor Monat
Aierek
Aierek

NEVER SIT FRONT ROW

Vor Monat
Shadow Heart
Shadow Heart

Or _always_ sit front row!

Vor 28 Tage
flyhound97
flyhound97

It's McDonald's, not McDonalds. You should at least get the grammar correct.

Vor Monat
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

@flyhound97 ** McDonald's (@McDonalds) · Twitter straight off google but who cares we all know what Maccas is and that was the whole point, cheers

Vor 28 Tage
flyhound97
flyhound97

@Fishpest Aussie *McDonald's

Vor 28 Tage
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

@flyhound97 Never mind sweety, go back to sleep... clearly your been up all night counting sheep down at Old McDonalds farm

Vor 28 Tage
flyhound97
flyhound97

@Fishpest Aussie What conversation?

Vor 28 Tage
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

@flyhound97 Oh dear 97 hound flys.. FOLLOW THE CONVERSATION B A C K .....

Vor 28 Tage
Bif Stiff
Bif Stiff

nothing orginal

Vor Monat
Danny R
Danny R

Going into McDonalds just to use the the toilet is called “Taking a McShit” and if they tell you the toilets are for customers only, and you say that you’ll be back to order when you’re done... that’s a McShit with Lies.

Vor Monat
Jamie McCarthy
Jamie McCarthy

Patrick Ball you must be from Grimsby

Vor 5 Tage
Lord Zaphkiel
Lord Zaphkiel

I've just about McFucking had it.

Vor 21 Tag
Patrick Ball
Patrick Ball

McDonald s have the worst toilet, s

Vor 26 Tage
Djhi Normas
Djhi Normas

RUDE IS KING!

Vor 27 Tage
Danny Reddy
Danny Reddy

Decent initials you've got for yourself

Vor 29 Tage
ArmyOfOne
ArmyOfOne

Jim Gaffigan did a gig on this... ...you and he are sooo related.

Vor Monat
Joseph Proud
Joseph Proud

ArmyOfOne you think jimmy Carr uploads these videos? Nah

Vor Monat
Grunthos The Flatulent
Grunthos The Flatulent

The toilets are usually clean.

Vor Monat
Patrick Ball
Patrick Ball

There always small with little room .

Vor 26 Tage
shoredude2
shoredude2

That must be a regional thing. Because here the McToilets usually look like crime scenes.

Vor 28 Tage
Abel
Abel

What was the underground bit about?

Vor Monat
James Watson Atheist Gamer
James Watson Atheist Gamer

The Fritzel burger.

Vor 25 Tage
Preston Swooper
Preston Swooper

Pretty sick. The freak's name should never have been mentioned again. But hey, that's meant to be comedy theses days ^^

Vor Monat
Silver Shamrock Novelties
Silver Shamrock Novelties

He joked about the Josef Fritzl case a little earlier in this show.

Vor Monat
Shaun Stephens
Shaun Stephens

This hit the news just before the show was recorded; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case

Vor Monat
al t
al t

Josef Fritzel

Vor Monat
Harsh Parekh
Harsh Parekh

What's the name of this stand up? Is it on Netflix?

Vor Monat
Tracey A
Tracey A

It's Making People Laugh. Was a DVD but is now on https://www.youtube.com/user/jimmycarrfans/featured

Vor Monat
RIXRADvidz
RIXRADvidz

McDonald's is Donald Trump's favorite food, another Very Good Reason to never eat it. ever. Same for KFC. Quit That Shit. it's killing you outright.

Vor Monat
Ainz Ooal Gown
Ainz Ooal Gown

Sorry to break it to you, but almost every fast food restaurant is bad for you. There isnt many healthy fast food options.

Vor Monat
Grunthos The Flatulent
Grunthos The Flatulent

It's Kentucky Fried Chicken. Don't call it KFC.

Vor Monat
RIXRADvidz
RIXRADvidz

Jimmy Carr, the EViL Man's Comedian. no need for the hard sell, all that other stuff, Bonus!

Vor Monat
Melissa Marshman
Melissa Marshman

MacDonalds is basically Britain's public toilets chain.

Vor Monat
Tapio 86
Tapio 86

@crucci Takes one to know one

Vor Monat
crucci
crucci

@Tapio 86 Wow you're smart

Vor Monat
Tapio 86
Tapio 86

McDonald's = American

Vor Monat
Bryan McMillin
Bryan McMillin

Of course, I take my girlfriend to McDonald's. After a busy day of holding up cardboard signs on street corners, I think we both deserve a break today.

Vor Monat
James Watson Atheist Gamer
James Watson Atheist Gamer

Extinction rebellion protestor.

Vor 25 Tage
Bryan McMillin
Bryan McMillin

@Fishpest Aussie KitKats are reserved for special occasions...like Breakfast

Vor 28 Tage
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

Have a KITKAT instead, its healthier and the sugar levels will enlighten you

Vor 28 Tage
Psychotic Bob
Psychotic Bob

Chick in the pink is hot!

Vor Monat
Jose Fernandez
Jose Fernandez

lol I always poop at mcdonalds coz I have IBS. mcdonalds is my comfort room.

Vor Monat
spudnic88
spudnic88

brah, take Jarrow enteric coated probiotics and that will never happen again. I have crohn's and now I'm good.

Vor 27 Tage
Fishpest Aussie
Fishpest Aussie

that's the anxiety in you rising as you realize your going to have to place an order..... Oh shet..

Vor 28 Tage
KaeYoss
KaeYoss

A McD toilet as comfort room. That is enough to rob me of sleep for the fireseeable future.

Vor Monat
Kainable87
Kainable87

Ah... Jimmy you cheeky bastard... surprised you didn’t blame the US for McDonald’s. It has been here for 79 years and been in the UK for 45 years.

Vor Monat
Marshall Davis
Marshall Davis

Weight McDonald's is a restaurant

Vor Monat
Marshall Davis
Marshall Davis

@Bryan McMillin Really I wouldn't go that far

Vor Monat
Bryan McMillin
Bryan McMillin

I see what you did there. That borders on clever.

Vor Monat
Lord Debrick
Lord Debrick

I love the irony of this audience because you know outside these people are the very PR PC plebs having a go at everyone else for laughing or having an opinion!

Vor Monat
Grunthos The Flatulent
Grunthos The Flatulent

Wtf

Vor Monat
Rannon
Rannon

Here everyone knows it's a joke. Outside it can be rather difficult to differentiate between someone who like here enjoys a bit o' fun and a racist that's decided to be a bit subtle. I mean if you tell me the same joke I've heard from my racist great grandpa, how should I know which one you are?

Vor Monat
Harmxn
Harmxn

0:58 I don't get that joke, could someone explain it please?

Vor Monat
LoKeeGama
LoKeeGama

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case

Vor Monat
Srithor
Srithor

#SchnitzelfortheFritzl

Vor Monat
ERA CASTE
ERA CASTE

It was a reference to an earlier topic he brought up, about Fritzl who was imprisoned and raped by her father underground for 25 years.

Vor Monat
godxad
godxad

Tsar Nicolas II no problem mate

Vor Monat
Tsar Nicolas II
Tsar Nicolas II

godxad Thanks I didn’t get this one neither

Vor Monat
Jan Baltes
Jan Baltes

His german is good XD

Vor Monat
Small Penis
Small Penis

Jan Baltes XD died when your grandad did

Vor Monat
stuart balchin
stuart balchin

Had to go for a poo in McDonald's once there was no toilet paper had to use H Samuel catalog i found on the toilet floor

Vor Monat
Nik Gnashers
Nik Gnashers

Who cares who commented 1st, 2nd, or 3rd ? Bunch of bellends. Jimmy Carr is brilliant !

Vor Monat
Talos 2kX
Talos 2kX

4th!!

Vor Monat
Warulven
Warulven

Correct funny is best funny, thank you Jimmy ! Im down with the influensa fever and this helped me laugh up some slime yeah, thanks lad !

Vor Monat
WIZARD RAPIER
WIZARD RAPIER

@Srithor yes

Vor 28 Tage
Srithor
Srithor

@WIZARD RAPIER In bed?

Vor 28 Tage
WIZARD RAPIER
WIZARD RAPIER

@Srithor I lied

Vor 28 Tage
Srithor
Srithor

@WIZARD RAPIER You are mean and don't think? Why would you admit to that in public? Also, what about God's nose? That one is none of your business, just like the Emperor's beard!

Vor 28 Tage
WIZARD RAPIER
WIZARD RAPIER

@Srithor God no, I mean, I don't think so?

Vor 28 Tage
Paul von Tarsus
Paul von Tarsus

What about the drive-through handjob?

Vor Monat
ITzzJack 1
ITzzJack 1

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Vor Monat
Swordhand #
Swordhand #

Worm burgers - research it!

Vor Monat
The Lada
The Lada

@Swordhand # It's cheap food, edible and the Vegans will be happy if it's not out of beef. Practically, a win-win situation!

Vor 29 Tage
Ainz Ooal Gown
Ainz Ooal Gown

@Swordhand # Who cares? Does it taste good for the price you are paying? Yes. Is it unhealthy? Not anymore than just regular beef is. So the real point stands to be, who cares and why should they?

Vor Monat
Swordhand #
Swordhand #

MD’s fed worms beef carcasses, the worms practically became beef and were used as burger filers... oh yer people, real talk 💯

Vor Monat
Rod
Rod

okay, got it now, thanks.

Vor Monat
Srithor
Srithor

@Rod Google "Elisabeth Fritzl".

Vor Monat
Matthew Bailey
Matthew Bailey

I've a friend called shagga, she doesn't like it. haha

Vor Monat
Blake Stormcrow
Blake Stormcrow

I got an ad for McDonald's before watching this on my phone. I don't think they understand irony.

Vor Monat
WIZARD RAPIER
WIZARD RAPIER

@Nunyadam Bidniss bidness=blindness

Vor 29 Tage
Nunyadam Bidniss
Nunyadam Bidniss

And clearly, neither do you. Because that's not irony.

Vor Monat
MeSoPro2018
MeSoPro2018

Holy shit I wish i would be living in UK just because of you. Keep up the great jokes bro

Vor Monat
Michael M
Michael M

Youtube is constantly recommending me these Jimmy Carr clips even though I almost never click on them. How the hell do you do that, Jimmy? Did you suck Susan Wojcicki's dick or something?

Vor Monat

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