How to Figure Out What You Really Want | Ashley Stahl | TEDxLeidenUniversity

  • Am Vor 2 years

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    Have you ever wondered what you actually want? Then join Ashley Stahl-career coach, author, former counterterrorism and podcast host- as she shares her 3 key steps to help you connect to your life's purpose, discover your ideal career path, and make what she likes to call a "You Turn," the decision to get out of fear and tap into to what you actually want out of life. She hosts inspirational guests each week on her show, "the You Turn Podcast", with the intention of helping her listeners upgrade their mindset both in work and love, and land a new job they love. Ashley Stahl is a counterterrorism professional turned podcaster, forthcoming author, and career coach who helps clients find their purpose, build their confidence, and launch successful service-based businesses. Ashley also hosts inspirational guests each week on her show, the You Turn Podcast, with the intention of helping listeners work on themselves, raise their confidence-all while taking life less seriously.

    Ashley’s been named a “Top 99 Foreign Policy Leader Under 33” by Diplomatic Courier Magazine and Young Professionals in Foreign Policy. She’s a columnist for Forbes, and her work has been featured on the Wall Street Journal, CBS, SELF, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune and more.

    Ashley earned her Master’s degree in IR from King’s College London, and another Master’s in Spiritual Psychology at the University of Santa Monica. She holds a BA from University of Redlands in government, history and French. She's a fluent French speaker, and intermediate in Arabic. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Quanchy Plimp
Quanchy Plimp

Perfectionsim? lol.......16:55 Good talk though :)

Vor Stunde
Kobus Venter
Kobus Venter

Excellent speaker with a great message! Well done!

Vor Tag
Stee Vane
Stee Vane

I've really been trying to think my way through confusion but I always just end up more confused. Thank you for making me understand that clarity comes from engagement, not thought. This is my intentional social media imprint to deciding to engage more than overthink.

Vor Tag
Sky Jeanne
Sky Jeanne

As an infp, i was born as feelers. I always know what feels good to me, and I follow it. It will still be the hardest path we will ever take but honestly, i don't think there's any easy path in this world, so what's the big deal, in the end we always have to work hard in the process, either we're wrong or right, so I start to stop listening to my fear.

Vor Tag
Rob Farrington
Rob Farrington

The hateful ship complementarily stir because belt peripherally ignore besides a sulky needle. acceptable, clean reminder

Vor Tag
Sam Boriboun
Sam Boriboun

Cool im going to leave my bf to be with my x

Vor Tag
Mariana Gonzalez
Mariana Gonzalez

But what if reading is what makes me feel good? The heck am I supposed to do with that?

Vor Tag
Wendy Nyimba
Wendy Nyimba

@ 16:00

Vor 2 Tage
AMRITA CHOUDHURI
AMRITA CHOUDHURI

This was mindblowing👏

Vor 2 Tage
𝗠𝗰 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝘆𝘀
𝗠𝗰 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝘆𝘀

What a powerful speech !

Vor 3 Tage
Li Sev
Li Sev

Your dad🖤🖤🖤

Vor 3 Tage
Cristina Apostol
Cristina Apostol

Waw. That was really good! I resonated a lot with her story and the way she putted it put there 🎉

Vor 4 Tage
Valya rosh
Valya rosh

How do i suppose survive following my dreams and having no money? World is not smart enough to let everybody fullfill themselves in prosperity just becuse thae want to be happy. If anyone has ideas how to break the cycle please let me know

Vor 7 Tage
YL Pan
YL Pan

I want a girl that would love me and be loyal to me despite my shortness and autism.

Vor 9 Tage
Tibor Steiner
Tibor Steiner

I don't know you and I don't believe you a word you say. Why would I? Why would I do the same mistake as your dad did? I even even he did such one.

Vor 9 Tage
Tania Lionv
Tania Lionv

Girl, do u come from my deep heart for telling these all truth?

Vor 10 Tage
Mela Ann
Mela Ann

I want to send this to him immediately as i saw it, bcause he told me he doesn't have a dream yet. Maybe this will help.. but meh. I dont think its good to send it to him

Vor 10 Tage
Vijanth Asirvadam
Vijanth Asirvadam

She is brilliant. It is like listening and biting Bitter Sweet Symphony lyrics

Vor 11 Tage
Prasetyo Ibrahim
Prasetyo Ibrahim

This woman can figure out what she really want, but Why is every woman that i know is like: Man: What do you want for dinner? Woman: I don't know, whatever Man: Where're are we gonna eat now? Woman: I don't know, wherever *After arrived at the food place Woman: I don't wanna eat here, the food is not good Man : ok, next place *At the second place Woman: I don't wanna eat here, the place is uncomfortable *At the third place Woman: I don't wanna eat anything, but I'm hungry

Vor 11 Tage
Dream Theater Of The Witcher
Dream Theater Of The Witcher

Can anyone direct me to straight answers?

Vor 11 Tage
Shantanu
Shantanu

Taken was Inspired from real life events

Vor 12 Tage
basar ozler
basar ozler

This is one of the most stunning ted talks I've ever seen.

Vor 12 Tage
zekoomrkva
zekoomrkva

People are scrambling to make a living working for corporations because that’s the kind of society we have created. An average person doesn’t have any choice, they will be exploited hard by the system in return for a few coins. So many traps, there’s no freedom you can follow unless you’re exceptional.

Vor 13 Tage
Calista Leah Liew
Calista Leah Liew

I was CRYING at the intro story.. Then she said "realists are just dreamers who got their heart broken along the way".. And here I am crying again.

Vor 13 Tage
Annie Love
Annie Love

They need to put trigger warning in the description I’m watching this first thing in the morning for motivation and it starts with kidnapping 😩 I’m finding it sooo hard to get through the entire video

Vor 14 Tage
Bibi Brin
Bibi Brin

You don't know what you don't know, no? So how change that??

Vor 15 Tage
Obviously Human :/
Obviously Human :/

I watch this because I am failing so hard and I'm learning but one thing is that I'm thinking about if I really should just leave my house with my very trusted friend because its in my way of getting somewhere in life. Should I really do that????

Vor 16 Tage
Mikosch2
Mikosch2

Perfectionsim!

Vor 19 Tage
Claudio Segura
Claudio Segura

Excellent Ashely!!!!!!!!!!!

Vor 20 Tage
Beka Firefox
Beka Firefox

One day I’ll be the one talking and being an inspiration to people 🥰

Vor 20 Tage
Beka Firefox
Beka Firefox

“Show up. See what the universe will give you. Make a commitment. And know that you can course-correct along the way.” Loved this advice!

Vor 20 Tage
Neel Hans
Neel Hans

Realists are just dreamers who got hurt along the way…😶

Vor 21 Tag
hannah out there
hannah out there

I am studying what i always wanted. What i spent 1 and half a year studying for, to get into collage. But the collage gives me stress. It doesn't meet my expectations of what collage is and how joyful and beneficial it would be. It's just getting anxious about scores and dealing with bad behaving teachers. It has ruined my confidence and made me even give up on my favorite major and field of knowledge. I wanna quit uni, and after days of conflict and screaming and getting scolded by my parents that i have wasted my time, talent and their money and effort. I really don't know what to do to not get blamed for, and feel good about as well. It's wearisome fr.

Vor 21 Tag
Raymond Philip
Raymond Philip

10:40 “People who call themselves realist are just dreamers who got hurt somewhere along the way” Ouch!

Vor 22 Tage
Plant a Fruit Tree
Plant a Fruit Tree

I had to meet a girl I identified with to know what I wanted in life, but my conscience had always told me to believe in that and not settle for less.

Vor 23 Tage
Abhay Arora
Abhay Arora

i regret indian engineers and doctors or some aspiring to be one listening this

Vor 26 Tage
Allison Jernigan
Allison Jernigan

Probably the most important and realist wake up call I needed

Vor 28 Tage
OTCube Technology
OTCube Technology

this is really important to decide what you want

Vor 28 Tage
Martin Santos
Martin Santos

Thank you :)

Vor 28 Tage
Piglord Pig
Piglord Pig

if we cant talk to strangers how do we maek friends

Vor 29 Tage
Alexia Ramirez
Alexia Ramirez

Well, not everyone has the privilege to be 100% true to themselves. If the carrer/job will pay my bills, I'll keep it that way. I'm not afraid of failure, I'm just not in the position of risking my plate not house.

Vor Monat
Jaime Lynn
Jaime Lynn

This was the best 18 mins and 59 seconds I have spent. Thank you.

Vor Monat
Hrisheekesh Dandekar
Hrisheekesh Dandekar

Peek bullshitry right here. Police won't text to a kidnapped persons phone especially when the kidnappers aren't supposed to know police have been informed

Vor Monat
Ammo Clip
Ammo Clip

Perfection is a pardox

Vor Monat
C F
C F

I loved it ❤️❤️❤️

Vor Monat
saba aghazade
saba aghazade

if i believe that where I truly are it means that I lost I should fight and go on in order to live...

Vor Monat
Mariella Miranda
Mariella Miranda

Take a risk! Love it!

Vor Monat
Daniel Voyles
Daniel Voyles

Why are you apologizing to your younger self? That coward is what got you to where you are now. Learn from the mistakes of your past self and seek change.

Vor Monat
Ed Hazell
Ed Hazell

“Clarity comes from engagement, not from thought” ‘Limbo is powerless’

Vor Monat
Ed Hazell
Ed Hazell

Keep A joy journal - every day write down the thing that made you feel the most joy / the most alive And after 30 days, look back at that and take note of there is any pattern in your inspiration. What skill set am I using when I am most inspired?

Vor Monat
Bobby T.
Bobby T.

"Clearity comes from engagement not thought"" wow its so true

Vor Monat
Eat Ate
Eat Ate

She:"What isn't working for you?" Me:eVeRyThInG

Vor Monat
leo king
leo king

Another thing is the lack of confidence( being scare) we have to try things we are passionate about and limit our engagement to the most common thing we have. We don't know ourselves too, which makes us change our plan.

Vor Monat
DonLau Bent
DonLau Bent

Question: what's the difference between following/finding your passion and following what feels good?

Vor Monat
DonLau Bent
DonLau Bent

What feels good to me: walking on the beach, cooking a delicious meal, yoga, caring for my elderly Mom.

Vor Monat
Kathy
Kathy

i love how she talks with her hands, my therapist always mentions that I do this and how it makes everything sound more understandable and helps to create your own perception

Vor Monat
Ra Lee
Ra Lee

I have seen so many teds... and actually This is the best Ted ever:)

Vor Monat
Kanhaiya Thakur Version 2.0
Kanhaiya Thakur Version 2.0

awesome

Vor Monat
Tekk Hero
Tekk Hero

Well to twist a kidnapping into the question ”how am i kidnapping myself in life” was a bit of a stretch imho

Vor Monat
Enso83
Enso83

9:06 is where the meat and potatoes starts.

Vor Monat
RISING GR8NESS LLC
RISING GR8NESS LLC

"love is not a matter of getting what you want. Quite the contrary. The insistence on always having what you want, on always being satisfied, on always being fulfilled, makes love impossible." -Thomas Merton

Vor Monat
Lewoke Crybaby James
Lewoke Crybaby James

I don't understand the point of this video who is going to take a chance to risk their daughter's life? SMH

Vor Monat
Dreamawakes
Dreamawakes

You are such an inspiration :)

Vor Monat
ByunieeYahhh
ByunieeYahhh

I really wanted to become a architect when i was little. I love designing my doll houses back then. When i was 12 years old, in 6th grade, my dad told me that studying architecture will be so hard, so i let go of that dream… and here i am.. 18 years old, going to college next school year and doesn’t know what to take bcs all they did was critiziced me of being not fitted to those type of courses :”)

Vor Monat
Mireya Hackett
Mireya Hackett

The bouncy stock firstly plan because flax feasibly train inside a hanging europe. whole, vengeful surfboard

Vor Monat
Dan Le
Dan Le

This talk is concisely helpful to me on choosing what I'm gonna do next in my life. Thanks!

Vor Monat
Kevin Harty
Kevin Harty

Amazing. I did just that - I was an architect but it was literally making me ill. I’m now a musician and things are great!

Vor Monat
Keb Hart Music
Keb Hart Music

@Ellie Music please! We should form a trio

Vor 22 Tage
Jim McCall
Jim McCall

@Kevin Harty Kevin, Ive played guitar on and off for 50+ years and have really gotten back into it - could send you a short recording if you like.

Vor 22 Tage
Kevin Harty
Kevin Harty

@Jim McCall Jim I’ve just found out you message on here. What do you do/play? Can I hear anything?

Vor 23 Tage
Ellie
Ellie

Same here, we should start a network 😅

Vor 23 Tage
Jim McCall
Jim McCall

How great! I am just now letting my architecture business go and playing music several hours a day. My design office is being transformed into a recording studio !

Vor Monat
Padmasree Chandrasekhar
Padmasree Chandrasekhar

WTF...the intro and subject have no relation...!

Vor Monat
Javier Cruz
Javier Cruz

Wow so impactful. Thank you

Vor Monat
Jannel Serrano
Jannel Serrano

When you are in your inspiration you're not being kidnapped

Vor Monat
Cloud
Cloud

Liam Nesson enters chat

Vor Monat
Cloud
Cloud

By force

Vor Monat
J B
J B

There needs to be a group where all the listeners of this video can go to networking, connect, and thrive. I would be grateful to know that there are others going through this with me, but just somewhere else.

Vor Monat
Louai Sekrane
Louai Sekrane

I needed to hear this. Thanks a lot ❤

Vor Monat
JBrtn85
JBrtn85

Dear Joy journal Day 1: time for bed Day 2: time for bed Day 3: time for bed Day 4: time for bed Day 5: time for bed Day 6: throwing Joy journal away, time for bed.

Vor Monat
Joanna Kader
Joanna Kader

❤❣❣❣

Vor Monat
Kartik Panjabi
Kartik Panjabi

I really admire the fact that you have learned such a great thing in life from that one incident that no one couldn't even think . Thanks 😊🙏

Vor Monat
Jane Kay
Jane Kay

Feelings are not to be trusted, that's how mistakes are made..

Vor Monat
Astha Yadav
Astha Yadav

It was great but for some reason I felt the story and the lesson were disconnected. Right now at 9:30

Vor Monat
Seth Renville
Seth Renville

(Warning, speculation ahead. Take with not a grain, but a heaping teaspoon of salt) I love this talk, but I have a single issue, which is this: there is not a single thing I know that I wish I didn't. I have an insatiable "lust", for lack of a better word, of knowledge, of the most intricate inner-workings of reality and the mind, because, at the most deep level, I am abhorrent afraid that if I dont know reality well enough, that when I die, I will just disappear, and be recycled. I like to believe that understanding is the point of life; placing us here to unlock its secrets, for even the generative force of the universe is incapable of understanding itself without another perspective, the same way we often need the perspective of a close, intimately trusted friend to help solve our deepest, most personal issues. I believe the universe is alive, and asking for our help in understanding it, and the first step comes from understanding oneself, as the microcosm of self reflects the macrocosm of whatever principle set/intelligence/being generated this whole thing from a zero-sum universe in the first place. I do my best to empathize not only with the "life" we perceive on earth, but the whole universe, because it must be awfully lonely out there, especially if the "being" was willing to blow up and fragment itself in the Big Bang, just to avoid the loneliness.

Vor Monat
Katyani Gupta
Katyani Gupta

I hd a bd day, confused abt my career paths.. So many things going on at once.. This came as a glint of hope. Thank you.

Vor Monat
Kiana Van Wyk
Kiana Van Wyk

What people call your 'gut' or 'sixth sense' is not actually that. It's God.

Vor Monat
Sebastian George
Sebastian George

Great video. Appreciate you!

Vor Monat
Cristina Butler
Cristina Butler

The craven jelly noticeably risk because ox realistically double next a necessary trunk. kindly, substantial font

Vor Monat
Bettina Riemann
Bettina Riemann

We have a saying in Germany: "Verbranntes Kind scheut das Feuer." (literally: Burned child shies away from fire.) I think there is a similar phrase in english : "Once bitten, twice shy." So we learn to be afraid. The problem lies deeper in our subconscious.

Vor Monat
Maksymilian Piechanowski
Maksymilian Piechanowski

"Clarity comes from engagement. It does not come from thought."

Vor Monat
Kimberly Howard
Kimberly Howard

The paltry subway logically contain because wednesday likely attach for a vigorous musician. miniature, invincible word

Vor Monat
Polina Lee
Polina Lee

Best youtube algorithm impersonation so far)

Vor Monat
Hjalmar Nordén
Hjalmar Nordén

17:00 "Perfectionism" is probably the funniest word to have misspelt in a presentation.

Vor Monat
cherrie
cherrie

i just wanna know what i wanna do in my future, i have interest in arts and literature but my dad says there is no scope for it in the country i live in, there is no chance of me getting abroad even, im just so worried and tensed abt this, ive disappointed my family so many times and im afraid i will again, i want to cange my thoughts and habits and even me but i just dont know how and im just-

Vor Monat
veggyventures
veggyventures

Pain is a trampoline. Launching me into my next stage in life. This sums up everything ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Vor Monat
Mare Schlossen
Mare Schlossen

Good talk Ashley, I hope one day you get compassion and empathy is deserved by everyone, like the chinese baby girl who manufactured your Gucci belt and the cow that was killed in order for you to have wear it on this important day. You can do even better in exercising your compassion, we all can.

Vor Monat
Bikesh Mehta
Bikesh Mehta

Doing what you love is the privilege only 1st world countries enjoy.

Vor Monat
Andrey Kashin
Andrey Kashin

"Do what feels good to you." Yeah I don't know about that...

Vor Monat
Rena Levy-Las Vegas Real Estate
Rena Levy-Las Vegas Real Estate

" Often we kidnap ourselves from the life that we really want" just hit home! I shall remember this every time I let fear get in the way.

Vor Monat
Josephine Lee
Josephine Lee

I got the point and idea through this message but the thing is something l like is just a beginning level like playing the piano and golf etc. How can I find something l like and it is related to get a job? I should work on that though...I gotta find something I like and I am good at for a job...

Vor Monat
Kylie Brown
Kylie Brown

Very Inspirational!

Vor Monat
Laura
Laura

Easier to do when you have a family that loves you and is there for you. Being alone in the world and knowing that nobody will be there if you fall not that you will need them but having that gives you a strength. Having a family but one that is neglectful and downright mean might be worse than being alone. But I have survived difficult times without there love and support. With Gods Love and my guardian Angels I am still moving ahead and taking one day at a time. And i have learned that I am stronger and more able than I felt that I was. I can do this life and do it well and survive the trials that come along the way as they will. The Love of my Son drives me

Vor Monat
ottie
ottie

this was immediately so much heavier than i had anticipated

Vor Monat
Universe in Neverland
Universe in Neverland

Great talk, but the story at the beginning doesn't really make sense in context.. feels like she's criticizing her dad's (completely natural) fearful reaction 🤕

Vor Monat
BillyRain B
BillyRain B

As a mother, daughter and sister… I sobbed too. Sheesh

Vor Monat

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